Numb
by Okoriwadsworth
Summary: Laurel Lance goes to rescue Oliver Queen. They're both numb. Can they make each other feel again?
1. Chapter 1

Numb.

(Author's Note: In this story, Oliver Queen never cheated. Never even conceived of it. Rather, he was going to China ostensibly to shadow his father on business, but actually to sight-see and be taught how to make Sichuan food for Laurel as a reward for passing her LSAT's, and a pre-engagement dinner.)

Laurel Lance was numb. For 5 years, she had been living in numbness and a kind of grief she didn't know was even possible to feel. Everything she was, everything she tried to do and be, was colored by Oliver Queen being gone. To Laurel, it was like the brightness of the world had been sucked out through a vacuum cleaner and all that was left was gray.

She can remember every part of the day five years ago, even if she wishes she couldn't. She can remember eagerly reading, and re-reading, Oliver's texts before he got on the Queen's Gambit. The winking smiley face and the promise of a big surprise when he got back stuck with her like tar in her stomach and around her chest. She couldn't breathe whenever she read them, and yet she couldn't imagine deleting them.

She even remembers walking into her parent's house, smelling her father's double-chocolate brownies, and feeling like this was the start of something wonderful. She hated chocolate ever since that day. Can't stand the smell of it, because like everything else, the smell brings back memories of seeing Moira Queen at her front door telling her Oliver was gone.

Not just Oliver. HER Oliver. She understood, in ways Thea and Moira never could, that Oliver was the other half of her. And now, before she could even fully revel in the man she knew he had the potential to become, he had been taken from her. But as she thought of it, taken was an insult for what this was. Ripped from her, like having a limb cut off with a dull knife. That's what it felt like, really. Losing a limb.

So, for 5 years, Laurel Lance staggered through life with one arm gone. She graduated law school, because that's what Oliver would have wanted. But she didn't have to feel absolutely anything when she did it. She worked for the Starling City court system as a clerk, something where she could just be anonymous and ignored for anything other than the work.

She didn't go out to the bars after the docket was done. She went home and looked at her pictures of Oliver, and wrapped herself in his shirts and blankets. On the weekends, she would watch his home videos wrapped up in her bed and considered it the height of personal strength to be able to get out of bed and have breakfast.

And then, one day without warning, the light came back in her life.

She remembers the call, and then her baby sister Sara coming to meet her with a trio of federal agents. Intellectually, she remembered reading the note from Sara that she had become an agent with the FBI in their kidnapping division because of what Laurel had went through. But in this moment, all Dinah Laurel Lance could think to do, could think to say, was one word again and again.

"Ollie?" Laurel kept saying, collapsing into her sister's arms and weeping thunderously as the elephant-sized weight on her chest finally left.

"Yes, Laurel. We got him. He's been begging to see you, ever since we found him. It's all he talks about" smiled Sara.

"What about Thea and Moira? Don't they need to see him too?" said Laurel, tears still pouring down her face. Her Oliver is back. She can breathe again. She can live finally, and she'll live with him. No matter the cost, no matter the price, she'll pay it to be with him.

"They're not coming, Laurel. Moira's been getting crank calls about Oliver being back ever since that boat exploded, so she's not going to make arrangements to be there and then have it be another joke. Thea's in rehab. She's getting better, but she doesn't want to be a distraction right now. Besides, everyone knows you need this more than anyone else" said Sara.

Smiling for the first time in months, Laurel picked up the phone and told the judge she was picking up her boyfriend and she needed some personal time.

"Drive me to my house, Sara-bear. I've been planning for this for 5 years. I've got some clothes ready" smiled Laurel, shaking out her right arm as though five years of pins and needles are finally leaving the limb.

**Meanwhile in Hong Kong…**

Oliver Queen sat on a hospital bed overlooking the sprawling city of Hong Kong, and didn't feel much of anything. He didn't feel anything when the doctors told him his mom and sister weren't coming. If he was being honest, he kind of expected that. He knew they hated him. He had been the reason Robert was dead, after all.

He didn't deserve joy, and happiness. Not after what he had seen, and what he had done.

In fact, that was why he had begged for Laurel to come and see him. He needed, as much as he could admit to himself that he needed anything, to free her from worrying about him. He knew he was an anchor around her neck, and he couldn't live with himself if he continued to be that.

So, he begged for Laurel Lance, to make sure she wouldn't worry about him and would go on living her life. But he didn't think she'd actually show. She had to hate him too, didn't she?

And then, just as he had given up on everything, the door to his hospital room popped open like a shot and there stood Laurel. Thinner, sure, but still HIS Laurel.

He had to ask himself if he was dreaming. In his own mind, of course, because he didn't trust anything that was going to come out of his mouth. Finally, with a hesitancy he didn't know he could still have, Oliver Jonas Queen asked the question, and said the words, he had been dying to say for 5 years.

"Laurel" said Oliver, making it sound like a prayer, a demand, and a hopeful request all in one word.

"Oliver" said Laurel before she leapt into his arms at full-speed, hugging him tightly and kissing him with all the passion she could muster.

Falling backwards into his bed Oliver reached up and slowly pried Laurel's body off of him before scooting up towards the pillows in the bed, frowning as Laurel molds himself into him.

"What are you DOING here?" said Oliver, the brokenness in his voice evident to Oliver and sadly to himself.

"I came for you. I've waited for 5 years for you. I've dreamt about you. But more than that, Ollie, I know you" said Laurel, glaring at him with those flashing hazel eyes he missed so much.

"No, Laurel, you really don't. Not after what I've seen for 5 years. Not after what I had to do. I'm not the man you left in Starling City. I need you to let me go, sweetheart. I need you to live your life." said Oliver, trying to ignore those little bolts of electricity firing through his chest at the notion that he could actually have HIS Laurel back.

"You're right, Ollie. You're not that man. You're **better**" said Laurel, literally shocking Ollie down to his core.

"What" said Oliver flatly, needing to understand how anyone could look at him and think he's better than he was.

"Look at you, Oliver. You've walked through 5 years of hell, and your first thought was not about yourself. The old you thought only about yourself. So no, I'm not leaving you. I'm going to help you. We're going to get through this together, and we'll be better for it. I promise" smiled Laurel.

"Really? You don't hate me like Thea and Moira do?" said Oliver, and Laurel felt her heart breaking all over again for the love of her life.

"Is that what you think, Ollie? You think they hate you for that? Thea isn't coming because she hates you. She isn't coming because she fell apart without her big brother around, and she's getting better now. Your mom isn't coming because people have been cruel to her for years, and she wanted to see you at the house without the cameras around. No one, NO ONE, hates you" said Laurel, and Oliver Queen could smile.

He actually believed he could, and so he did.

But now that he could smile, Oliver Queen decided to turn his attention to Laurel Lance.

"Laurel, how have you been? When you came to see me, I noticed you were thinner. Please tell me you're ok. I couldn't live with myself if you weren't fine" begs Oliver, and Laurel knows she has to tell him the truth.

"I haven't been fine, Ollie. Those 5 years while you were gone, I just lived. I didn't enjoy anything. I couldn't enjoy anything. You weren't there. But you're here now. And together, we'll get through this. I promise" said Laurel, and for the first time, she believed like she could.

Blinking, Oliver thought of the one thing he knew she needed, and him too.

"So…. Food?" smiled Oliver.

"Food" said Laurel.

**The next morning….**

As Oliver and Laurel hold hands and walk to the Queen Consolidated private jet, the tingles going through Laurel Lance's body remind her of something else she's been missing for 5 years. Namely, her boyfriend and being touched by him. She didn't think she was the type of girl who would jump his bones in a Hong Kong airport hangar, but the fact the thought even occurred to her at all indicated that she needed to get fucked and fast.

But as she thought of it, it felt good. Not so much that she was as interested in sex, but that she was interested in anything.

Laurel Lance was no longer numb, and with Oliver Queen beside her, she could do absolutely anything. They both could.


	2. Chapter 2

Pins and Needles, Or the Feeling After Numbness.

(Author's Note: Laurel's depression from Numb will be mentioned. Her way of handling this is not how people handle, or understand, it in the real world. I'm trying to make an entertaining story where we see the things happen I vaguely teased in Numb. If you are suffering from depression, or think you might be, consult your doctor or a mental health professional. There is help out there, lots of it. All you have to do is know how to ask for it.

In the same vein, the relationship between Laurel and Oliver is not how a BDSM relationship works in real life. I'm not trying to make one that looks like that. I'm trying to make a story with nuclear-level heat in it. In case I'm not clear, there will be smut in this. There will be filthy talk. Also, if for some reason, the idea of discussing weight gain bothers you, there will be some of that.)

On days like today, Laurel Lance could scarcely believe her good fortune. After five years in their own separate hells, she and Oliver Queen had come back together. They lived together now. She was a clerk at the Starling City Courthouse, but was looking forward to putting up her own shingle as a lawyer where she could help the under-privileged find the justice they couldn't. Hell, now that she was going to do that, maybe this secret she was about to get told would be helping with that.

On days like today, she remembered what it was like when she got off that plane.

_**Three Months Ago,**_

As Oliver and Laurel staggered off the plane towards a waiting limo, her hair mussed and his suit slightly undone after intense making out from Hong Kong to Starling City, he looked at her with an appraising eye and smiled warmly as he appeared to be recognizing something.

"How much did you miss me?" he smiled, and she felt herself crumble and her entire body go warm at his smile.

"So much. I can't put it into words. I've been alone for five years, so until I can get used to this new me, I'm going to need you to take the lead. Is that something you're going to be ok with?" she said, hoping his answer would be yes and that this wasn't all a fever dream.

"Of course, darling. But we need to talk about something. And when I tell you, I expect honesty. I won't be disappointed by any answer you give. I will be disappointed with dishonesty, though" says Oliver in a deep voice filled with strength and lustful intent, which draws a barely-hidden whimper of lust from her.

"Yes. Anything" she whimpered, hoping the subtext in the word "Anything" was clear as she had intended it to be.

"You haven't been taking care of yourself while I was gone, have you? Haven't been eating well, or regularly? Not exercising?" he asked with a deep reservoir of concern in his voice, and she melted at knowing that he CARED truly and deeply about her in a way he hadn't always shown.

"No, Ollie, I haven't. I've just been surviving, waiting for my love to come back to me. But you're here now. I can be better. I can be stronger for you, and for myself" she begged, almost sobbed, really.

"When we get back, I have a doctor's appointment. There's some stuff I have to get taken care of, injuries I suffered on the island that they have to look at. I'd like you to come with me. If we're going to be together as long as I want us to be together, we need to both be healthy and ready for what I think you need" he said, before winking at her in a way that caused her to moan and move to rub the corded muscles of his thighs through his suit pants.

"What is it you think I need, Ollie?" she asked lustfully, her voice thickening and lowering to the point that she barely recognized her own words.

"You need a daddy, baby. While I was gone, my tastes became a lot broader. Don't worry, I didn't sleep with anyone either. But I saw things, and some of those things I liked a lot. And I can tell, gorgeous, exactly what you need. You need someone to stoke that fire you've got burning inside of you, and let it free. But it can't happen until you're good and healthy. When you are, when the doctor says you are, I'll be there to stoke it for you. Ok?" he said, and Laurel could have jumped for joy.

Of course, she'd do that. She'd do anything he wanted. Nodding her head, she curled up against him and went to sleep.

_**Seven Days Later…..**_

_**At The Robert Queen Wing Of Starling City General Hospital**_

While Oliver was getting his many injuries dealt with, and appointments were made for future surgeries, Laurel Lance was sitting in a doctor's office getting ready to have a very different conversation.

"Hello, Ms. Lance. My name is Dr. Kingston, and we're just going to check to see how you've been doing since the last time you were in for your checkup. Have there been any changes?" said Dr. Kingston, a warm-eyed middle-aged woman who has apparently been Laurel's primary caregiver.

"Yes, Dr. Kingston. He's back. And he says he wants to be with me, in all the ways he can be, but not until I'm healthy. I don't know quite what he means by that, but he says that when you say it's ok, he'll know it's ok. He even gave me a note. Apparently, when you say it's ok, I get to do everything that he put on the note" smiles Laurel, handing Dr. Kingston an unopened letter.

Reading the letter, Dr. Kingston's eyes widen and she smiles as every one of the plans she sees is something she wants her patient to have, desperately.

"Well then, Ms. Lance. Let's get you back to the person you want to be, and get you on a medical regiment that doesn't dull your libido. I get the sense you're going to need that to be as strong as it possibly can be. Maybe we need to start by discussing a healthy weight number for you" smiles Dr. Kingston, non-verbally directing Laurel to sit down.

"I don't need a number on a scale, honestly. I just need to feel more like myself. But there is one thing. Ever since he came back, I've been insanely hungry. Is that normal?" she asked, hoping something else wasn't broken that she couldn't fix herself.

"Actually, it kind of is. Sometimes, for a variety of reasons, a person's satiety switch gets turned off. And honestly, I'm a little worried about your bloodwork and your nutrient levels. So for a few months, I'm going to suggest something that may be a little radical. I want you to start exercise, and I want you to just log everything you eat. Don't worry about gaining weight or fat, because honestly, that's not important right now. There's an app called MyFitnessPal which might make it a little easier. And at the end of those three months, we're going to see where you are" smiled Dr. Kingston, writing a note down.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, you gave me a note. I'm sending you home with one. It's the same thing I've told you, already. Tell Oliver Queen to make sure he keeps up with it."

And with that, Laurel left the doctor's office.

_**Over The Next Three Months….**_

And from that day forward, Oliver Queen saw what the doctor wanted him to do and threw himself head-long into it. He put together a workout plan, and proved as able a trainer as he was a Dionysian-level partier. Before too long, Laurel fell in love with training with the same thorough passion as she had for the law, and for him. He didn't just take her to her usual step classes, and let that be all there was. No, his broader knowledge apparently included weight training, kickboxing classes, Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and Russian Sambo. When asked why she was doing this training, he looked at her with an appraising eye before saying "I just want you to be safe, honey. And I want you to be strong. You already are, mentally. I want you to be strong physically."

And then there was the eating. Oh god, the eating. While she trained, he cooked. Breakfasts in bed fit for a queen with stacks of silver-dollar pancakes always loaded with fruit, perfectly done French and American-style omelettes, and always fresh-squeezed juices of some kind. As he cooked, you could see the love in his eyes as his love returned to him a bit at a time. He threw himself into cooking, making sure that she ate home-made sandwiches on fresh-baked bread during her lunch break, and a sumptuous dinner fit for the queen he saw her as.

Eventually, then, she began to notice that her body was starting to change. And she admitted she loved it. She loved her new muscles, and how much stronger she was. When they had first started working out together, she could barely pull a barbell loaded with 5-pound plates off the ground. But at the end of this three-month period, she could pull 405 pounds comfortably, squat 315, and also could bench-press 185 for reps. In fact, Laurel entertained entering a powerlifting competition more than once. Oliver routinely remarked on her determination.

But, and this would have been a thing she would never have imagined in her "hell", she reveled in Oliver's appreciation of her new body. Her muscles, and the curves that came with them, enthralled him. But because he loved her so much, and respected her even more than that, he sat her down one day and explained how he felt.

"Pretty Bird" he said, which had become a new nickname for her which she enjoyed hearing, " I don't want you to think I love you only for your body. Because I don't. I would love you no matter how you look. I admit, though, I am proud of this new you. You have become an Amazon, strong and powerful both inside and out. You are stunning to me, and it has taken all my energy to not grab you and have my way with you."

"Amazon?" she asked, confused.

"Amazon" said Oliver, his loose sweatpants tenting rather enticingly. The smile on his face was so confident she almost wanted to hit him, until she googled it. Eventually, after reading, she agreed with his understanding of what her new body looked like. Truthfully, she loved the way he looked at her.

_**Back to Present Day**_

But her body hadn't been the only change in her over those three months. She was more confident now, more willing to express herself. She decided to make a rise up the ladder at the courthouse, until she was the chief clerk to the appellate court. But with that rise, it dawned on her that she needed to help find justice for those who did not have the influence, or the cash, to find it themselves.

And over dinners with Oliver, she worked it out with him as a sounding board. He always told her how she could be a figure for justice in a city that needed one, the honorable person he was no longer sure he could be. He told her she was smart, and charming, and good with kids and adults equally. He asked good questions, provided excellent counsel and advice, and promised the wealth of his family to help her get started.

In short, he was as supportive as he was strong.

Tonight, though, she didn't need him to be supportive. She needed the thing he promised he would be for her when she was ready. And oh, dear god, was she ready.

She had gotten a doctor's note, at great personal embarrassment, explaining to Oliver Queen that she could be fucked as hard as he desired. She had been dripping wet all day imagining it, and had even contemplated fucking herself in one of the public bathrooms of the courthouse before her propriety won out. All day, even through her most mundane activities, sex was on the forefront of her mind.

But as she walked into the loft they shared, she realized that handing him the note wouldn't be good enough. Doing that wouldn't make the kind of statement she wanted to make.

The truth was, Laurel's wardrobe had begun to change. She sorted it in her mind to "work" clothes and "Home" clothes. Work clothes were professional, if more alluring than they had been. She didn't intend for it to be this way, but with new muscles and new curves, even the most basic of outfits looks interesting.

Clothes for when it was just them, though? _**THOSE**_ were filthy.

She dressed like a temptress for him. She never wore panties around the house, and would routinely flash her new curves in front of him to watch his eyes widen in lust. She would wear schoolgirl outfits from her days at Balliol Prep so his eyes would never leave her legs, skirts that looked more like belts for how short and tight they were, and jeans that looked painted-on while she danced around the house. She also wore crop-tops and t-shirts that were always a size too small or strategically ripped. But even those, even those things that she knew looked great on her and that Oliver loved seeing her in, didn't feel right for a moment such as this.

Then, a memory flashed into her mind. Or rather, a look.

After all, he did love her ass.

Walking into her walk-in closet, she reached far in the back of it and smiled as she found it. One year, while they were together, they had gone to a costume party. She had gone as some leather-clad superhero in fishnets, and Oliver looked at her like she was a 5-course meal. It was a minor miracle they made it home without any rips in the costume. And, right at this moment, she considered it a dream fulfilled that she still had it. Lord knows, she'd look filthy in it with her new curves and the fact that she'd barely fit in it now. But for him, she WANTED to look filthy.

Heading towards the living room, her leather-encased legs trembling in lust, she smiled as Oliver turned around and went into full-body shivers of lust himself. The way he was looking at her, her newly lush body encased in form-fitting black leather, made this decision, and the one that followed right after it, easier.

She kneeled at his feet, with her hands behind her back, and looked up at him submissively, begging with her eyes for everything she couldn't say to him out loud.

Behind her back, in hands that were shaking in a true mirror of the lust he felt, was the note that gave him permission to do with her what he wanted.

Smiling warmly, kissing her on the top of the head, Oliver reached around behind her to grab the note in her hands while placing his enticing crotch right in front of her face.

Reading the note with one hand, and loosening the drawstring on his sweatpants and removing his jade-green Henley with the other, he smiled as Laurel's eyes engulfed his entire body before her mouth engulfed his cock. She deepthroated him once, twice, three times before pulling back and staring up into his eyes with a lust that defied description.

"Fuck my face. Use me. Use my mouth. Use my cunt. Use my ass. Just use me, please" moaned Laurel breathlessly, feeling no longer like a temptress but like his personal plaything to do with as he wanted.

"You forgot to call me something, didn't you?" growled Ollie, and in that moment, she knew she had.

"Daddy, please fuck my face" smirked Laurel, and at this, Ollie did exactly what she asked.

Wrapping his hands through her shoulder-length honey-blonde hair, Oliver thrust deep into her throat until he could hear her gagging and tears began to leak from her eyes. Deciding he needed to fuck his pretty bird he carefully unzipped her black leather catsuit, licking his lips at the look of lustful hunger in her eyes, before picking her up and dragging her into the bedroom, smiling as he throws her onto the bed. Fully removing his jade-green Henley and his sweatpants, smiling as she looks at him with absolute hunger, he sets upon her and devours her cunt, smiling as her soft moans become full-blown screams.

And then, it happens. Two things happen actually.

First, Laurel squirts in his mouth, her lush hips literally rising off of the bed.

Secondly, her scream knocks Oliver Queen back about 15 feet. It's only due to his reflexes that he doesn't end up being knocked out.

In this moment, they come up with a plan.

Actually, he comes up with one. She's in a weird spot, a combination of being so horny she can't stop touching her pussy and so shocked by the scream that she can't stop touching her throat. Eventually, though, she comes out of it and helps.

They decide they're going to keep fucking, because they've waited five years to do this and nothing like a little super-powered sonic scream is going to stop them. But how to do it, when they know she's just going to keep screaming?

Then, he remembers.

"Queen Consolidated has an abandoned airfield on the edge of town. No one goes there. We can go out there and fuck all night. You can scream as loud as you want, and no one will hear you" he rationalizes.

"Yes, Daddy" she purrs, her horniness having come back in full force and overruled her shock.

So, they get dressed. Laurel puts on a sweatshirt with a hood. She takes off the catsuit, and puts on a pair of loose blue jeans and a Starling City Rockets baseball jersey. They sneak into the parking garage where a limo is waiting for them and head to the airfield. And sure, Laurel sucks his dick the whole way there while having 4 fingers in her pussy. Hell, she's so horny she even takes notice of the female limo driver watching and has a flash of a thought about asking the limo driver to join them.

But nonetheless, they get to the airfield. And the limo hasn't even turned off its engine inside the hangar yet before he's dragging her to a grassy spot beside it, and she can only whimper out "Please, Daddy" as he pushes her to all fours.

He grabs her hips, watching as she looks back up at him with hunger and lust in her eyes, and buries his cock balls-deep inside of her on the very first stroke.

And then it begins. He looks at her, their eyes communicating when words won't do, and he knows what she wants. Still, though, he likes to tease her and make her say it. He loves her, and that love takes on different forms, different flavors.

Right now, he's finding out just how much he thoroughly _**ADORES**_ it when she's filthy for him.

"Tell me" he demands, and he feels her pussy get somehow wetter simply from that demand.

"Please, Ollie" moans Laurel, getting a smack on her ass for not telling him.

"Please, WHAT?" growls Ollie, smacking her on the ass harder and pulling her head up to look at him.

"Please use me, Daddy" she moans, and then he decides to.

His hips become like a blur, pounding her deep and drawing out orgasm after orgasm, each one harder than the last until her eyes roll back in her head.

Finally, he lets out one last mighty roar and drops a massive load deep inside her, collapsing to her side before reaching out to hug her.

"We needed that, you and I. We needed to let ourselves go like that" he said, panting deeply as he kisses the love of his life on the lips and the cheek.

"Daddy?" Laurel says, crawling down his body until her head is resting on his lower abdomen.

"Really, honey? You need more?" he smirks, as Laurel grabs his cock and looks at it like she's looking at a totem of some kind.

"Always" she smirks, before taking it in her mouth again.

_**The Next Morning…..**_

They're both exhausted when they come back in the next morning. But, after showering (separately) and having coffee and breakfast, they get ready to start their day.

Soon, they'll deal with the scream Laurel showed last night. And soon, they'll meet Thea and Moira. Maybe even someday, she'll tell him about the thoughts she had about their limo driver. But for right now, she feels better. The numbness is gone. There's a tingling in its place. She feels closer to her full self.


	3. An Interlude

An Interlude: Oliver Queen's Journey.

(Author's Note: This is chapter 2.5 of Numb. It happens between Pins and Needles and the final chapter. It's how Oliver is dealing with coming back from Lian Yu.)

Dinah Laurel Lance should have seen this coming, she guessed. Ever since they returned to Starling City from their own personal hells, her boyfriend Oliver Queen had been like a redwood for her. Strong, and stable. He never went anywhere. He listened when she woke up in the middle of the night sobbing and held her until the pain worked its way through her. He offered advice, and food, and all the cuddles and romance she could have ever dreamt of.

But they never discussed, never thought of, what he needed. So when she woke up to go to the bathroom after a night of training and heard the sound of the shower running full-blast she walked in there without thinking and saw her boyfriend, the absolute love of her life, sitting in the shower sobbing, she knew she made a mistake.

And as she saw him there, the strongest man she knew breaking down completely, she knew she had to go to him. So, quiet as a church mouse, she stripped off her negligee and joined him in the shower, wrapping her arms around his waist. Startled, he jumped back.

"No, Ollie. You've been so strong for me, so perfect. Let me be strong for you now. Let me carry your pain for you like you carried mine for me" she begged, knowing exactly at this moment how she must have looked over those 5 years when it seemed that she could do nothing but cry again and again.

"Pretty Bird, there's so much I haven't told you. So much I can't tell you. I wanted to try and be strong for you, be the man and the boyfriend you deserve. I'm so sorry you have to see me like this, not able to be there for you like you need" he sobbed, feeling utterly devastated that he's falling apart like this in front of her. Not so much the falling apart, he realized, but that it is in front of the one person he wants to seem capable in front of at all times. Before this moment, he would have rather taken on an entire platoon of Russian Spetsnaz with nothing more than a penknife than have to stand in front of the love of his life, the only thing keeping him from being completely lost and admit to being broken.

And yet, she doesn't mind. In fact, at this moment, she's taking care of him. And, as he's finding out, he likes being taken care of.

She's pulling him out of the shower, grabbing an emerald-green towel and drying him off carefully, when he is able to find his voice.

"Thank you, Laurel. Thank you for being here, for not running from me like you have every right to" he said, his voice raspy from the crying and faint from embarrassment.

"Let's get you back in bed. I feel like we have a lot to talk about in the morning" she says, kindly.

And with that, they stagger to bed. But before his head hits the pillow, Oliver reaches out to snuggle with his pretty bird who holds on tight to her.

Whispering in her ear, "Tomorrow I'll tell you everything, I promise", he falls asleep with her right behind him.

_**The next morning….**_

As they wake up, emotionally battered from their rough night, Laurel turns to see her boyfriend and wraps her arms around his torso, kissing him on the chest to tell him that he is loved wholly and thoroughly. She supposes, right now, that he needs love and tenderness before he feels comfortable telling her about all the darkness and sadness that he has been trying so hard to fight. To her, that makes sense. She knew, at least for herself, she never felt comfortable telling random people about everything that she was going through. Trust for something like that needs to be earned, and she hoped that Oliver trusted her like that.

"So, what did you want to tell me last night?" she started the conversation warmly, hoping kindness and her comforting voice would soothe him and keep him from bristling at talking about something he clearly doesn't want to be.

"There's so much I wasn't able to tell you about my time on the island. For one, I had to lose all traces of the Ollie you knew before I went on that stupid boat. The part of me that could be the life of the party, could drink and party most people under the table, he's gone. And, if I'm honest, I don't want him back. I don't like the man I was before I left. But my dad made me promise something to him, and I don't know if it's something I need to share with you" blurted out Oliver, no longer interested in keeping secrets but also fearful of what the biggest secret he has left could do to the woman he loves.

"Ollie, I will ALWAYS love you. Always. No matter what. You've helped me carry all my burdens, all the things that I didn't want to tell anyone. You're helping me deal with that scream, so let me help you with this" begged Laurel, wanting to get on her knees to ensure just how thoroughly she is willing to help him with this.

"Ok. I'll tell you everything."

And so, he did. Hesitantly, at first, because everyone wants their master plans to be greeted with sympathy and understanding. But eventually, he relaxed. Then, he explained how his father had ACTUALLY died, and the list of names that he had been left with. He told her about the vow he made. Over time, as she snuggled into him, he felt comfortable telling her about Hong Kong, and how it had been Tatsu who had helped him mature. He told her about going back to the island with the sword of Amanda Waller pressed over his head, and how he saw her at his darkest moment. Begrudgingly, he even mentioned Taiana who helped him see the good in himself when he thought there was none left and also made a joke about enjoying being tied up that helped him realize that, and so many other things, was stuff he wanted to explore with Laurel.

But he knew words weren't going to be good enough. So, he excused himself for a minute and came back with a wooden case with Chinese writing on the front of it. He opened up the case and saw his girlfriend's jaw drop as inside was a quiver filled with arrows and a nearly-black leather jacket, a black shirt made out of Kevlar, and black leather pants.

"This is who my father wanted me to be. What he needed me to be. And, after five years away, it's who I have to be too. I have to live this life, to save people from the hell I was in. But I don't want to live any part of my life, even parts you might not approve of, without you in it. So, if you don't want to do this with me, I'll understand. I really will" said Oliver, his head down and his blue eyes closed as he is waiting to hear the sound of the door closing and the love of his life out of his world forever.

And he kept waiting for minutes until finally, slowly, he opened his eyes and saw her sitting there with unshed tears glistening in her eyes.

"Oliver Jonas Queen, what in the world would make you think I would leave you? I love you. I want to grow old with you. If you need to do this, if you need to be this vigilante, I'll be alongside you. But I do have conditions" she said confidently, the lawyer in her flowering to life even in this odd situation.

"Name them," he said, the embers of a smile coming back to his face.

"First of all, no indiscriminate killing. I don't think you're a murderer, Ollie, so I don't want to see you acting like one. If there's no other option left for you, then I understand. But to just do it, that isn't who you are."

"Deal," he said, without thinking twice about it. He imagined that being a killer like that, some monster who murdered because it was easy, wouldn't be in the spirit of the mission that he had been tasked with.

"Also, this city needs a hero to save it. That's been true for a while now. But this city doesn't need a monster in the dark. We have plenty of those. What we need, what we've always needed, is someone to remind us of the shining city we once were. I don't think you should wear black, Ollie. Something brighter, something that looks like a light, feels better" she said, unsure as to how he would take such a suggestion.

Before he could answer, though, his stomach growled in search of some food. Not wanting to stop having this conversation, Oliver Jonas Queen got out of bed and noticed the hungry and approving look Dinah Laurel Lance was giving him.

Much like he had discovered new tastes, so had she. All of her life, she had found the male model physique the most appealing. Slender, lean, and above all else…. delicate. But the second Oliver came back, her instinctual sense of what she wanted in a partner had flipped, twisted, and she knew now those ideals of beauty weren't for her. She needed the strength, and the muscular power, he had.

He wasn't slender, or delicate. Not even a little bit. The man who left her on that boat might have been, she thought idly. But the man who came back? That was a MAN. He radiated power and intensity, the sort of man who could easily throw you over his shoulder and drag you into the bedroom where he would fuck the life out of you. And she loved that about him. But just as much, she loved the idea he wouldn't do that unless she asked him to. He was strong, and as close to a sex god as she thought walked the earth, but he loved and respected the woman she wanted to be and never demeaned her for her choices. "Playtime in a little while, honey. First… food" said Oliver, the strength and dominance coming back into his voice.

And so, they got dressed in loose-fitting shorts and t-shirts and headed to the kitchen to raid it for what was there. Good thing they got dressed, because when they walked into the kitchen, Oliver Queen found himself the target of a full-sized hug from his sister Thea as his mother Moira looked happily at him over her breakfast of granola and fresh fruit as Raisa made breakfast.

And then there was Raisa. He loved her like a 2nd mother, and he knew she would be concerned about him. So, steeling himself, he hugged her and whispered "Thank you for caring about me" in perfect Russian and smiled as she looked at him with a happy smile on her face.

Unfortunately, at that exact moment, his little sister's appraising eyes ran over the both of them and asked a question everyone was thinking, but were entirely too tactful to ask out loud.

"So, how long have you guys been fucking since he got back?" asked Thea, causing Moira to nearly choke on her breakfast and Oliver and Laurel's faces to turn the exact same shade of cherry-red.

Glancing at each other, the unspoken question of whether or not they should lie or tell the truth, both of them decide the truth is better.

"We've been dating since he got back. We realized we were better off having each other in our lives than not, and neither one of us want to be without the other ever again" said Laurel, her eyes glistening with unshed tears as she realized just how much it would have killed her to be without the love of her life again.

But as he saw her cry, Oliver realized he needed to continue to be a man who was worthy of her. So, while she was talking with Thea about her need to buy more clothes for her newer figure and waxing poetic about her plans for a small law office, he reached into his pocket for an iPhone and made the one call he wished he didn't have to make. Setting up plans on the other end, smiling when it's all done, he realized he booked an appointment for couples therapy with Lyla Michaels, ARGUS mental health provider.

If he did nothing else, if he accomplished nothing else, he was going to be the man she deserved. He had already been away from her long enough, and nothing was going to make him leave her again. He'd get better, a little bit at a time.

If she could get through her numbness, so could he.


End file.
